The Joys of Motherhood......

The toughest but most rewarding job ever!!

Lucy......

Making a decision to have a child – is momentous.

It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body

– Elizabeth Stone

Like most couples, we always knew we’d one day have a child, but the time was never right. There was always something that had to be done before we could try and get one, but as nature takes it’s course not every thing you do will always go according to plan.

My pregnanacy was a surprise and a good one it was. I actually didnt realise i was expecting until i was well into the 19^th/20^th week! Most of my friends found this surprising & me.... well, i found it hillarious.

How can one not know that they’re pregnant i always said.......hmmmmm... you all know the saying; “Never say never.”

That said, my bellybutton journey was a very interesting and exciting one. After informing all the family members that needed to be informed, i decided to enjoy the remaining 4 months as much as possible. Stocked up on books about pregnancy, joined all kinds of forums and pregnancy social networks and signed up for an antenatal class.

19 weeks

Louis, Donna’s son actually thought I was going to buy my baby from the supermarket ......:-)

28 weeks

Pregnancy was always something i took for granted before i got pregnant, didnt really think there was anything more to it other than growing fat and maybe having morning sickness in the first 3 months. And as a result, i never really paid much attention to pregnant ladies, apart from the fact that i thought they looked good with their glows.

I felt like one tapping in the dark... when guys said to me that i could ask them whatever i needed to know, i always thought to myself OH GOD, i don’t even know what to ask... but don’t get me wrong guys, despite all this i was having THE TIME OF MY LIFE! ... My pregnancy was one of those you had without any major problems. All these uncertainties were supposed to be cleared in the class .

Ours was a class of 12, all between the ages of 25-36 yrs.3 out of the 12 mums had had babies before while the rest were first time mums.The first thing the midwife who took the class asked us as we got in was what we expected to gain from the class. Below are some of the replies we had:

– I dont know... maybe everything there is to offer

– The right technique of breathing

– Ease the fear of giving birth

– Make new friends since all my other friends have no babies

– All of the above!!!

antenatal classes

After listening to all those replies i knew i was going to have fun...And fun it was. She taught us how to breathe, went through all the basics about pregnancy at all stages, were told what to watch out for at the OBGYN’s, were told what to expect from insurance, prepared the hospital bag, we made birth plans & labour ward visits.All this was to get us aquainted with the whole situation . We also had classes with our partners ... this we called the “Partner Abend”.

On the "Partner-Abend" we were taught what to expect and how to react. Basically how best they could help us before and during labour.We also went through the whole process of giving birth and what to do at different stages of labour.

"Partner-Abend" classroom

After the theory we were then taken to the birthing rooms (can i call them that ??) anyway labour wards, where we checked out all the different methods of giving birth as well as practice positions infront of the class.

Each one of us was expected to come infront of the class/group and try out all the positions of giving birth using the equipment in the different labour wards.

Apart from attending class we also had alot to take care of in only 4 months:

– Buy/set up a nursery for our little boy

– Buy some clothes for him

– Deal with all the paper work involved

– Reframe our minds..... haha

At some point all this got me thinking, had I been in Uganda where would I have gone? Certainly not to the public hospital antenatal classes? Do they have private classes as well?? How many people can afford them if they do??

I would have gone to my mum & aunties ofcourse....but where else would I get my info?? I guess we will never know....

I asked a friend of mine who lives in Uganda recently what she thought of midwives in Uganda and she said; "Aren’t they for the poor & uneducated??” What a misconception !!!!

I am sure UG is not the only country that doesnt seem to realise how important it is to have the perception of midwives polished... but that is not my story to tell ....

My best gift ever....baby Leon

The proud parents

We finally had our bundle of joy in late May. It was a bright and sunny Sunday that brought with it the best gift i have ever had my whole life, baby Leon. He is just a few months old now but a joy we would never exchange for anything in the whole wide world. My hubby and I walk around with bags under our eyes due to the sleepless nights and are practically greying while we’re at it, but nothing would makes us more proud than seeing him grow into a big handsome man.

I have now joined a DELFI class (Denken Entwicklung Lieben Fühlen Individuell), directly translated think,develop,love & feel individually ... does that make sense??? It is a class where we help & support our babies in their first year developments, this we do with love.

All the moms i was with in the antenatal class, joined the same postnatal class where we decided to join the same Delfi class. This way we could all stay friends and support each other in our new “situations”.

For our first class we were all reminded to turn up with our babies!!!! Incase there were some who didnt know it was a class for babies ...LOL.

We went through the 5 senses, how far the babies have developed, in their sense of touch, sight, hearing and how we can support along. We’ve actually been asked to have as many bright coloured stuff in the house to support their sense of sight.

I know there are some of you out there who think this is a whole lot of nonsense ....haha... it well may be.

We all can actually do this at home, but hey, it wouldn’t be so much fun doing if i was on my own ... with all these ladies i get to finally leave the house and meet some people with problems just like mine.

Being a mum is a wonderful and fullfilling world....but its all new to me, Donna definitely understands it better than i do, I’m always bombarding her with questions in the middle of the night, but she always answers them without complaining.

Love you babe!

Let’s hear what she has to say about motherhood.......

Donna.......

being there for each other is such a blessing

After reading the beautiful and explicit words of Lucy´s experience with motherhood, I will just conclude by saying;.......sharing the experience of motherhood with lucy is like the crowning of our friendship. It is such a wonderful and rewarding experience I have come to deeply cherish. Being the "older" mother with 2 boys(Ishmael Mbu and Louis Aaron) gives me some years of experience which I joyfully share with Lucy.

My babies.....Ishmael and Louis

Sometimes I sit and ponder what the future holds for us and our once in a lifetime friendship, then this beautiful picture always comes to mind....."I see us both, all grey and old, gathered around the fire-place on a new years eve with our darling husbands, our dear boys, our beautiful daughters-in-law and our jolly grand children joyfully celebrating the dawn of another year and then somewhere in the midst of this celebration, we (Lucy and I), get to tell them our story all over again.......the story of 2 Afro sisters who met one very cold and wet morning in the autumn of 2004.

I pray and wish that you all "our readers", will still be out there too following our journey ...the journey of 2 afro-sisters living in a multi-cultural afro-euro world. Stay blessed you all........................